The shambles over which United’s Norwegian patsy has presided

It’s been a busy 48 hours for Manchester United, whose latest Premier League shellacking was so humiliating it prompted an emergency five-hour board meeting at which the decision was taken to finally relieve Ole Gunnar Solskjær of duties it has been abundantly clear for some time now he is not equipped to carry out. Quite what those involved in the Zoom call spent the other four hours and 59 minutes discussing remains unclear, although the best manner in which to publicly distance themselves from their own responsibility for the shambles over which their Norwegian patsy has presided in recent months may have come up.

Like many others, your cynical Fiver found its mind well and truly boggled that the club’s Fan Sentiment Graph guys somehow persuaded Ole to film a tearful, touching and click-tastic video farewell in which he wished their newly appointed pre-interim interim manager Michael Carrick all the best, before trundling out of the club training ground consigned to the wheel of nothing more powerful than his Range Rover. We can but hope his former counterparts Brendan Rodgers, Rafa Benítez and Mikel Arteta were around to buy him a drink, considering how much his dismissal managed to deflect attention away from their respective teams’ similarly inept performances over the weekend.

Fast forward to Monday, when it emerged that Ed Woodward is reportedly reconsidering the reconsideration of his role as the club’s executive vice-chairman, a position he was supposed to leave at the end of the year following his controversial and unpopular promotion of the €uropean $uper £eague. With his long track record in the field of hiring quite obviously unsuitable managers when far better ones are available, he clearly doesn’t want to be ultimately remembered as the man with the keen eye for a noodle partnership who shot Bambi and has presumably decided he is the man to hire Rodgers, Zinedine Zinedine or current bookies’ favourite Mauricio Pochettino.

With Solskjær gone, United’s players will have turned up to catch their flight to Villarreal with renewed vim and vigour, which will have quickly dissipated when they realised his departure simply means each member of his uninspiring and less-than-stellar coaching team will simply be scooching one seat up on the bench. “The players need to take responsibility,” honked Harry Maguire, one of many United players who increasingly talks and tweets a far more impressive game than he plays.